It was seventh grade, and I wanted to get Pumas and Nikes for
P.E., like all the other kids. And my mom's boyfriend takes me to K-Mart, you know,...
Posted: 10/30/2008
Here's how rich I am: I'll, like, go into a Banana Republic and
buy shirts two at a time. That's right, I guess you should applaud for that. Here's...
Posted: 10/30/2008
I'm shopping at these bargain basement clothing stores. Can you
do me a favor and sign a petition? I want to change the name of all these places to...
Posted: 10/30/2008
They have security in these stores. There's a man standing at
the door. Do you understand what that means? Somebody made a life decision out there...
Posted: 10/30/2008
You like my shirt? Isn't that nice? $8.50 in a thrift shop. At
that price, I can afford not to like it.
Posted: 11/02/2008
Jewish people, we don't need the money. We're doctors and
lawyers. It's the Christians who can't hold a steady job and have to go on TV and ask for...
Posted: 11/02/2008
Did you read about the couple that lost the $10 million in the
McDonald's contest because their daughter was an employee? What a double whammy....
Posted: 10/30/2008
My father was a gambler and an alcoholic, but he was also very
vain. So one day, he gave up his vices to save up enough money for a hair...
Posted: 10/30/2008
My mom was the kind that'd send us to church but didn't go...
She'd give us scripture and didn't even know it. She just made up books. ''Cause in...
Posted: 10/30/2008
The worst day at my job is better than the best day at most.
But my father -- I remember, man, I called him at work and told him I had a TV show --...
Posted: 10/30/2008